Tuesday 24 February 2009

Discounted Emotional Flows


(Wednesday, 18 February 2009)

There are situations when you suffer for a long period of time to accomplish something. I mean, you really go through hell. For days, weeks, months. You ask yourself all the time if it is worth it. You often think of giving up. A couple of times you’re one step away from doing so. It seems impossible that you’ll ever look back at that experience with a smile on your face.

But you do, if things go well at the end. Stupid brain. Dumb heart. It is like you forget – or discount – everything you went through, and you put too much weight on the final feeling of “work well done”. It’s that thrill that works like a drug, and floods you of excitement, pride, fulfilling peace. You feel good.

Looking at it rationally you know you shouldn’t be smiling. Not that much at least. You went through too much pain to be smiling so strongly. But you do. Moreover, you actually feel like it was worth it.

I say feel, not think – as those can be two very different things.

And because you feel so, there you go: you do it again. You go once more through pain for long, only to smile shortly at the end.

That’s not enough, I should think.

One’s heart should learn to discount emotions better. In the same way you evaluate a business venture: you forecast the cash flows, then you discount them to account for the fact that income further ahead is worth less that the same income today. Only if you gain enough money in the future – even taking into account that it’s worth less than if you’d have it in your hand today – to compensate for your investment in the shorter term you should go for it. If not, you should stay still.

Same thing with your heart, with your emotions. Only if your smile in the future is strong enough – even after appropriately discounted – to compensate for your short term pain you should feel it was worth it. If not, you should regret it.

If I’d reason that way, I’d probably look back at some of my past experiences and would start saying no to new ventures that have a similar pain-pain-pain-smile profile over time.

Would I be happier if I’d live that way, more short term focused?


I don’t know. Probably not – it’s just not me. I guess I’ll keep looking too far ahead for the payoff, discount too much the shorter term emotional investment, and too little the longer term thrill. I guess too I’m the kind of guy who lives constantly in an emotional state of deflation: it’s better to save a smile today so that you can live it tomorrow.

The way I seem to be discounting my emotional flows would make sense that way…

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