Hasta luego, UPAVIM

Day to say farewell to UPAVIM: I’m leaving tomorrow morning.

I’m tired - it was a long day, most of it spent tying the last few loose ends. And emotionally drying too – it was difficult to say goodbye.

It’s incredible how closely attached I quickly became to these women and children. All the work I’ve done in the last 2 months, which has been so little at my eyes all the time, felt today as huge as I could ever imagine it.

I head tears in my eyes when I said farewell to the children at Reforzamiento. I had to promise to a few of them I’d try to bring Cristiano Ronaldo next time around…

I also had tears in my eyes when I said farewell to some of the women I’ve been working with – at the bakery, at the library.

And then there was a big surprise gathering of most of the women at the roof at 5pm. They brought food and drinks, and we sat outside for a while, eating, drinking and talking. They wanted to say thank you for my and El.’s help (El. is another volunteer also leaving tomorrow).

I had prepared a few lines for the women, thanking them for my experience. I had thought of just leaving them behind me tomorrow, only on paper, as I’m not too good at these emotional things of saying goodbye.

But there they were. So many. So I read what I had written, and the tears that I had held for most of the day finally came out.

It was a great day… These were two incredible months… Laughter and tears. Excitement and frustration.

As in life, right?


****** ****** ******

Queridas amigas y amigos de UPAVIM,

Dos meses es poco tiempo. Pero en dos meses se puede vivir y aprender mucho también. Y los últimos dos meses han sido así – llenos de experiencias que guardaré en un lugar especial de mí corazón. Gracias.

Decía yo en mi aplicación que deseaba salir de UPAVIM más rico cómo ser humano. Conociendo nuevas personas – mujeres y hombres muy grandes por lo que hicieran y van a hacer. Conociendo esas personas cómo ellas ahora me conocerán un poco a mí. Dejando aquí un poco di mi amor, mis experiencias y ganas de hacer del mundo un lugar un poco mejor. Y llevando mucho más qué lo dejé. Encontré todo eso. Gracias.

Les deseo que sigan haciendo de UPAVIM el lugar excepcional que es hoy. Un oasis de amistad, de oportunidades, de esperanza. Un oasis qué crece todos los días. Con vuestro labor y amor. Increíblemente.

Les deseo una panadería con mucho suceso, haciendo llegar el pan a muchos lugares de Guatemala, porqué la ciudad es grande, pero mayores son vuestra voluntad y capacidad.

Les deseo un proyecto de soya que produzca mucha leche para hacer los niños fuertes y saludables, y mucho yogurt que haga dulces muchas bocas. Dulces cómo el lugar donde eses productos vienen.

Les deseo una biblioteca rica. Un espacio especial donde muchos niños descubran y fomenten el gusto de la lectura. Y qué eso contribuya para hacerlos los grandes mujeres y hombres qué ciertamente serán.

Les deseo un Reforzamiento lleno de risas y aprendizaje. Un programa que siga apoyando los niños en su escolaridad, qué es tan importante, y también el amor y atención, qué son tan necesarios para serse un niño feliz.

Les deseo lo mejor en todos los otros vuestros proyectos y actividades. Los de hoy, qué no conocí tan bien pero qué tanto hacen por UPAVIM y la comunidad, y también los del futuro. Sean lo que sean.

No me olvidaré de UPAVIM.

Qué sigan adelante. Siempre.


Vuestro amigo portugués qué estará a un correo de distancia,
Gustavo

Surprise gathering in the roof

Portuguese classes...

Reforzamiento

The bakery. Obviously...

Don’t fight the giant – focus on his toe

(Wednesday, 25 March 2009)

The children library project has been keeping me happy.

An enthusiastic woman, passionate about books, has taken the challenge. More or less alone. Or at least without too much support from the organisation thus far. Due to other women’s lack of enthusiasm. Some jealously too, I think. Like everywhere else, there’s quite of it around here too. After all it’s the human nature, right?

It has been refreshing to work with someone who’s so eager to pull it off and make it happen.

Books have been collected from 3 or 4 different places in UPAVIM. A new space is being set up – small, dark, with very few equipment, but a space. You need to clean up the books. Classify them. Order them.

It’s occupational therapy like work (it hasn’t been too bad for my Spanish tough, as I’ve to skim through the children books to get an idea of the topic and classify them – and you do learn by doing that). You’ve to create a small database in Excel for an inventory of the books – and coach the woman on how to use it. You’ve to print, cut and stick identification labels on the books so that they can be borrowed around the community later on. Repetitive work, but still refreshingly rewarding. Just because of that woman’s enthusiasm.

We’ve been working together in the mornings for the last 3 weeks or so. Yesterday she asked me if I used sleeveless t-shirts. Puzzled, I said yes. Why not, right? I’ve the beard already, so I can well get the full traveller look.

She brought me 2 sleeveless t-shirts in the afternoon. To thank me for my help. She was happy they fitted me (she was afraid they wouldn’t). And I didn’t know how to thank her.


Today I taught my last Portuguese class. One of the last requests from the girls led us to discuss how to say “you’re a moron” in Portuguese. Yep - I did enjoy myself in these sessions in the last month…

These experiences have been left me thinking how much some of my frustrations during my stay here – from wanting to do so much more but feeling impotent to accomplish it – come from me aiming too high to start with.

How can I aspire to enact structural change at UPAVIM in just a few months? At UPAVIM’s bakery and soya production. At Reforzamiento? Everywhere?

Why do I pick to fight the giant? Why don’t I feel happy for just tackling his toe? Or perhaps even only his toe nail?

Many small things can make you so much happier than a single great objective. They don’t let you get easily tired from tilting at windmills all the time, like Quixote. Just print some labels! Stick them in the books!. Put the books in the shelves! Teach the random Portuguese here and there!

That attitude right from the beginning could have made my experience very different, probably… That’s a lesson learnt. One I keep failing at. So one I hope I’m smart enough not to forget later.

Will I? Again?

8 Portuguese students

I paid a visit to Conchita and her family this Monday. It had been a while since I last been there. It was a nice chat, and amidst promises to burn them 2 CDs of Portuguese music (was thinking of a selection of Fado and Carlos Paredes) I also told Maria (Conchita’s youngest daughter) we could go back to our Portuguese classes. We hadn’t had a session since I left Conchita’s place two weeks ago or so.

Wednesday’s at 6pm in UPAVIM. She asked if she could bring ONE friend too. Sure, why not?

To be honest, I had forgotten it. I was Skypeing when someone called for me: “Gustavo, you have a bunch of girls here for the Portuguese classes!”

A bunch. They were right – 8 souls came over; 8 souls interested in speaking Portuguese in Guatemala. I don’t know if all of them are studying Tourism as Maria is. That’s where her interest comes from, so I don’t know if the same applies to all the others.

They were really paying attention in our improvised class room at UPAVIM’s kitchen roof. I didn’t have a black board, so I was keeping my hand writing as large as possible in an A4 piece of paper.

It was so refreshing to have something happen spontaneously around here. No need to push, no need to follow up – pure word of mouth and genuine interest. That’s it.

Man, it felt good indeed. Next class is on Monday, at 6pm. Every Monday and Wednesday at the same time, we agreed to.

Let’s see if the momentum and enthusiasm keep up. If theirs do, mine will.

Hugs that mean “thank you”

Last Friday it was a short improvisation workshop – one hour long or so - and with few kids – around 8 or 10 participants, varying in the course of the session. But I did enjoy myself.

The “cloth exercise” was the usual success. You lay down on the floor a cloth or a blanket – or anything similar you might have at hand – in the centre of a circle of participants. Then, people are free to step in, one at a time, and use their imagination to make the cloth into something. They can’t use sounds; just gestures and performance. The cloth can be anything you want it to be: superman’s cape; a baby; a car; a skirt. You just need to shape it and perform it.

The kids hold themselves back at the beginning. Tough to imagine something out of nothing. I’ve been told and read that school education in Guatemala is not famous for pushing for children’s creativity and artistic expression. From what I’ve seen thus far, I tend to agree.

But children are always imaginative. Humans are that way; it’s how we’re wired up. After a first few rounds when I demonstrated the game, the kids got the taste of it. After each time laughter and applause raised their confidence, and they kept coming in, expressing new things, performing new objects out of nothing. I had planned the game to last 15 minutes or so, but I think it lasted more than double that. And some of the kids kept going on their own for the rest of the afternoon.

You could see the more introverted ones waiting and seeing; staying to last. You could see their eyes becoming bigger when someone was finishing their run and they were gaining courage to step in; their feet started moving, their legs shaking, they made a small movement to step up and in, but then someone would be quicker and more confident, and would take their turn. And then their eyes would get smaller, less vivid. And then again, the same expression of intention, until someone would take their place over. Up to the point when they were finally resolute enough and were able to perform their thing. It went well. People laughed. People encouraged them. And the next time they hesitated less. Their self-belief grew, and so did their energy and participation level.

This is what I truly believe artistic expression can do for anyone – and above all, children. Its makes your imagination grow, it builds your confidence.

I saw that happen, yet again. With few kids, for little more than hour, but it was there. So, it was worth it.

The shiest of the kids playing – the one I was thinking of when I was describing how introverts’ confidence grew over time – gave me a big hug at the end of the afternoon. Similar to the ones we’re often given at the end of the sessions at Reforzamiento: kids head to the door to leave, but come back for a brief hug. A silent one, or with a simple “hasta mañana, prof”. I think it means “thank you”. That’s the way I feel it at least.

I don’t think I have seen this very often – kids thanking you for the time you spend playing with them - sometimes20 minutes or less.

It says a lot about I see missing around here…

A meeting-management manual for table 4, please!

(this is a long one – hang on in there)

It was my second time at a meeting of the “Consejo de Negocios”.

While the “Junta Directiva” oversees the most important decisions at UPAVIM, there are several “consejos” underneath it that manage the different activities of the cooperative from a day-to-day operational point of view. The “Consejo de Negocios” is in charge of the bakery and soya production – my “adopted children”. Other “consejos” run the arts & crafts centre, the kindergarten, and the school and scholarship programme.

So, you are at the meeting. You sit down with around 10 well intended and dedicated women for what should be a 1 hour meeting – it ends up lasting 2 hours. Two of them bring their kids over as they’ve just left school and there is nowhere to put them. It’s tough to keep the children quiet for long, so I spend half the meeting with both of them on my lap – one on each leg, so that I can stretch my neck between them and look at the women in the few situations when I felt I had to say something. They entertained themselves drawing on my notebook, with a few occasional fights for the possession of the pen. Result: I’ve very few blank pages left; Jeffrey, Conchita’s grandson, had already taken care of half of them…

There are important things to be discussed and decided today. More collaboration from the all group is needed to help run the bakery on a daily basis, so that the work doesn’t fall on only some of the women. They need to agree on what to do with the soya production, which is halted because of 1001 different reasons, ranging from lack of capital, to equipment upgrades that are needed to meet regulatory requirements.

A taskforce by the Ministry of Health is offering to provide free support to the registration of new soya products and coach the women on that legal process. It’s help being offered for free, so the idea sounds great to everyone, even if the group is somehow clueless about what it implies. Getting samples of the new products for laboratory examination – while there hasn’t been any production for almost 3 months and there isn’t much in place to get it started again – for instance.

But the discussion grows long, and in tangents most of the time. A lot of talk about the past, little time spent discussing the future. Sometimes there is a consensus that the conversation in being pointless, but it continues anyway.

The hour that had been planned for the meeting is almost over, and the first agenda item is far from finished. Not that anyone knows of what is left in the agenda to discuss, as the meeting plan seems to be shared by two women who, of course, haven’t talked about it beforehand.

As always, it is at the end, when everyone is rushing to leave, that the most important questions are raised. Decisions are needed, people have to raise their hand to volunteer and help. Silence and exchange of eye contact take place.

Eventually, the bare minimum number of decisions that had to be made are finally passed through. Quickly, and without too much discussion. Oddly enough.

I bet we just need to wait for the next meeting so that the hidden part of the iceberg comes to daylight, and all the important things that should have been truly tackled today become urgent. No, not urgent – late, I should say.

What do you do in a meeting like this?

I felt I needed to strike the right balance here… Observe a lot, learn how things happen before you start having ideas on how to improve them. It’s a cooperative run by the local women – it has been so for the last 20 years. And it’s still standing. Still growing. Somehow chaotically, somehow miraculously it seems to me, but still standing, and still growing. So…

All the good stuff I’ve learnt over the years – agenda setting, meeting management, moderation skills, etc. – has to be well thought through and acted upon with moderation. You can think of a million ways of making the processes leaner, the businesses better and more profitable. But you cannot really rush through those ideas. You might well take the steering wheel of a meeting and make it more efficient and focused, but what’s the point if next time around it goes back to the old way of running things? This is ONE meeting, amidst the hundreds that happen every year at UPAVIM. These women will see each other again and again to discuss other topics. In this consejo or in any another. With this audience or a different one. To discuss these issues or new ones. So, if the change doesn’t happen through them, by them, you’re hardly touching the surface – so far away from changing the course of the water flow.

So you wait. You touch here and there, just to keep things barely on track. You hope tomorrow you can speak to the women who were running the meeting. You hear their thoughts. You pass by them a few ideas on how to do things differently. You wait and see. And you do it again. You wait. You touch here and there, just to keep things barely on track.

I hope now we’re in conditions to make the process move forward with the Ministry of Health during the upcoming month. With me helping out, but under the coordination of an (almost forcedly) appointed leader amongst the group. And with the help of everyone around the table at the meeting, as finally agreed to.

But the taskforce of the Ministry of Health is only one of the pieces of the strategic-plan-to-save-the-soya-production jigsaw, which is so often talked about and asked for by everyone. Ironically, this in a place where documents are barely looked at, and where discussions are far more often based on hear-say than on solid facts. What will be the end of such strategic plan when I leave? What decisions will be informed by it?

I’ve been talking in the last few days with one of the few men that work at UPAVIM. He’s kind of a strategic advisor to the cooperative. He’s an economist and lectures at the university in the city centre. Once in a while some of his Business & Administration students do practical projects at UPAVIM, putting in practice what they’re learning while they also try to improve things around here.

He has been visibly happy for being able to speak business jargon with someone for a change. I looked at some of the papers he has done over the last few years – strategic plans, project proposals, templates. Most of them abandoned and barely read through, to his (hardly hidden) frustration.

I’ve to confess they seemed to me overly complex, long and wordy for the audience they’re targeted at. Somehow too academic, should I say? (Apologies to the academics who might read this!) No surprise he feels like he has hands tied up, and his only chance is to give suggestions and ask the right questions to the women here and there, and then let them decide. With a vague hope that some of the plans, proposals and templates may be put at some use eventually.

After these conversations I’ve been left thinking how much benefit could accrue from him being coached on some aspects. On how to adjust his documents to this audience, for instance. On how to influence decisions more strategically, slowly over time, instead of one-off strong-push efforts in written documents and occasional meetings. Or on how to help the women with implementation, instead of just setting strategies that few seem to pay real attention to.

But I’ve been also left thinking where and how exactly can I add value. I mean, I could see many of the ideas that I’ve for the bakery or the soya project already written down in his documents. Some of the processes I’m trying to implement have been tried out before by him too – and failed.

It’s not so much my business knowledge that can make a change here, I think. I mean, given the average educational level of the women in the organisation that’s a great asset to bring, but that’s something this college professor and his students can also bring – and have been bringing – to UPAVIM.

What can add value is following through all those strategic initiatives and coach the women on the implementation. Walking the walk with them. Trying and failing, so that you can try and fail again, and so that finally all those skills are eventually learnt through practice. And can endure.

But that’s not something you do in just 1 or 2 months. Not even in 6. It’s work to be consistently done over years. Consistently: with continuity.

So, I’ve to confess, I’m a bit lost about what’s the best thing for me to do around here…

Any ideas, please?



Post-Scriptum:

I’ve returned to Reforzamiento this Tuesday, to work with the kids in the afternoons.

There is also a lot – I mean, a lot – that can be done to improve the effectiveness of this after-school tutoring programme. All volunteers violently agree with this statement, from what I could hear.

But I’ll leave those sorrows for a later post. Only to say that there’s some joy back from playing with Lego and helping out with long divisions again.

Tomorrow, Friday, is “play-day”. I mean, all days are half play-days anyway, as you can only keep 20 kids focused on “school work after school” for so long, but Friday is officially just for the kids to hang around and enjoy their time.

I’ve set up an acting workshop for the afternoon, from 2 to 4pm. I’m genuinely and utterly curious to see how it will go…

¡Feliz cumpleaños, Doña Dina!

(Monday, 2 March 2009)

Doña Dina has the warmest of the smiles at UPAVIM. (I’ll just say many others are tied in first place, to not hurt anyone’s feelings…)

She celebrated her 50th birthday this last Sunday, and the next day shared some moments over dinner with the volunteers, in the kitchen at UPAVIM’s roof.

It was a very nice evening, and I got to know some of the ways how Guatemalans celebrate birthdays. After the cake, everyone around the table, one at a time, share something nice about the person whose birthday is being celebrated. Then she (or he) says something back about each of the persons around, again once at a time.

I need to bring this one back home…

Dump, from the right side of the brain

(Friday, 27 February 2009 – incoherent thoughts before going to bed)

Account books back in order. 3 basic forms to be filled in everyday – one by each person – to keep track of the business and ensure everything adds up. Daily cash flow projections until end of June, with payment schedule to eliminate all debts until then. A proposal to improve financial performance: 3 initiatives on the cost side plus 3 on the revenue side. 3, not 2, not 4 – 3, the credibly round number for any consultant.

This is how I left things with UPAVIM’s bakery before I headed to Antigua last Thursday. On track, I felt. Time to work on the soya project and go back to Reforzamiento to be with the kids, I thought. No way…

I’ve said this before, but things do move slowly around there. The need to help out with the bakery and soya production was pulling me in and out of Reforzamiento all the time so, to focus and avoid spreading my efforts too thin, I’ve decided to temporarily pull out of the work with the children and be fulltime with the other 2 projects, where I think my help is most needed at the moment.

That’s a tough trade-off to make. My days have been looking more and more consulting like – a radically different context, but still consulting like. You aren’t helping the kids with their school work, you aren’t playing Lego with them. You’re working with some of their mothers. You’ve meetings, you explain the forms, you add the numbers, you coach on the process. You’re not the smile and hug of a young boy, you’re what keeps his mum half hour more at UPAVIM…

Yeah, that’s a tough trade-off to make. What’s being a volunteer after all? Do what you’re most passionate about (so that you can keep doing it and help for a long period of time) or do what you think has higher return on invested time for the community (even if that means you’re less enthused with it)?

I don’t know; right now I’m betting on the later. So, I’m doing work which is surprisingly close to the one I wanted to run away from – for half a year or so at least.

Spending time with Excel, and not playing creative games with children – including some of the stuff I learnt with theatre and improvisation – naturally undermines what I emotionally take out of my work here. And that, of course, undermines my desire to stay at UPAVIM for a long period of time.

But, still, it feels like the right trade-off to make: do what you think is most helpful, even if it makes you less thrilled on a daily basis, and it may make you move on sooner than otherwise planned.

Does that sound reasonable?

Of course, life is not everything or nothing, black or white – there are shades of grey. I’m working towards dedicating only half of my time to the bakery and soya production – concentrate the work only on a few hours, so that I can go back to Reforzamiento in the afternoon. I’m also trying to keep in touch with the folks in the city centre whose work I’d like to know more of: theatre writers, artists, workers at cultural and youth associations. It’s being tough to juggle all that, but it might work well eventually…

But, even if I have moved on already from thinking that “I have to”, to start thinking that “I chose to” make this trade off, this is how I’m felling at the moment and I cannot really avoid it.

Yeah, things move slowly, and I’ve to get used to it. When finally I think I got the speed at which everything happens around here, I’m surprised by the events and find my aspirations over-ambitious, unrealistic. It’s the meeting with the woman who will start doing the accounts with my help and coaching that gets postponed 3 times – it should have happened on Monday but it happens on Thursday, sometimes because of no-shows, other times because the books are locked in a room that no-one has the keys for. It’s the coaching process that is slower than expected. Are the things everyone agreed to but that don’t get done.

Patience is important. Coaching and capability building is the key. There is no point on things being spotless while one is around, if it means they will fall apart once direct voluntary supervision is no longer here to provide help.

Success is the work to be done right and independently by the women. Long term sustainability. People actually knowing what they’re doing. Fishing, not being given the fish.

If that implies all the trade-offs I’m making at the moment, I think I’m cool with that…

¡Gracias, familia Sánchez!

Yesterday was my last night at Conchita’s. Today I’m sleeping back at UPAVIM – now that a few volunteers have left, there is enough room.

I’m ever so thankful for the way I was received there. ¡Gracias!

I’ll follow up on that basketball match in two weeks’ time, Margarita…

BBoying

(Friday, 20 February 2009)

I’ve spent the last two days in Antigua moderating a workshop with 5 of the best Guatemalan BBoys (i.e., break-dancers, for the laymen as myself) and Es., also a volunteer at UPAVIM.

She wrote her master’s thesis on the positive effect that break-dance, and hip-hop in general, can have in marginalised areas. It’s a way of self-expression that helps build self-confidence, and creates something to belong to, that not a gang.

I guess it can have a lot of the benefits I argue for theatre: letting your emotions go, share them with other people and become comfortable with that; be someone else for half an hour; exorcise your demons while creating something you and others can be proud of. With the difference that the idea of break-dancing might be a little more attractive to the teens at risk in Guatemala City than the prospect of playing the role of a donkey in Midsummer’s Night Dream…

Interestingly enough, it looks like once making the bridge with break-dancing (ok, I’ll start calling it BBoying from this point onwards), often kids once at risk or involved in gangs seek other forms of artistic expression – music, painting… theatre.

So there may be a point to this all argument after all.

These 5 BBoys are in their late teens or early 20s. They belong to different BBoying crews, and so are adversaries in competitions. But I noticed a very genuine bound between them – of friendship and of a sense of belonging to the artistic form they chose (or that chose them?).

All of them divide their time between their families, work (and, for some, school) and BBoying. They practice, they compete, they teach other youngsters. They spend time during their weekends in “Escuelas Abiertas” (a more or less recent government programme that makes schools available over weekends for recreational and artistic activities), or in post offices (also open in a similar format to “Escuelas Abiertas”). There, they introduce other kids to the art of BBoying, they coach and practice with them. Above all, I guess they act as role models.

Here in Antigua we spoke about what they want to do and for whom they want to work for - they're aiming at setting up a cultural association of Hip-Hop for the Guatemalan youth. We spoke of what problems they want to help solve and how do they plan to accomplish that. We spoke of a vision and a mission. Of how they should organise themselves. Of how to grow steadily, step by step, form a small start to the more ambitious end-state they are so enthusiastic about.

One of the things they kept saying to me was that they’d like to build something their families, their friends, and society in general (including “los licenciados” and “los burgos”) could be proud of.

I think they should be already.

Jeff’s back

Jeff has disappeared for a while. I found him in bed with the gnome.

No, it’s not what you think. Or maybe it is: after all they were celebrating el Día del Cariño, or Valentine’s day – a big thing in Guatemala, apparently.

You could not only but see roses – real and plastic ones – hearts, balloons with the shapes of hearts and so forth, being sold in the city center.

This heart was a gift by UPAVIM, along with a candy bar.

I don’t celebrate Valentine’s, but it made my heart sweeter.

Making friends with Quique, proudly

Quique

Quique barks whenever someone gets on the roof. He has his occasional bite here and there. I’ve been safe so far.

He gets really calm and close to you at lunch time. I wonder why…

Me with a beard...

... at UPAVIM's roof

A view of the neighbourhood… and shy volunteers

Back to UPAVIM’s roof. This is the heaven (and I really mean it) we can go back to during lunch breaks and at the end of the day, when the sun sets. It hosts the volunteer group, with a kitchen, shared rooms and – I’ve been told – the best toilet in Guatemala. I’m starting to believe it.

It seats on the last floor of UPAVIM’s building. The areas underneath host all of the cooperative’s activities – sewing and arts & crafts production, bakery, soya production (when it was working!), kindergarten and school.

There is a quite international crowd hanging around here. We’re eleven at the moment. Things are quite busy, and the reason why I’m staying with Conchita’s family is lack of space in the roof; things should get calmer in a few weeks’ time, when some people leave.

Many of the volunteers are from the US (big country and close by, which helps explain it), others from France, Belgium, Netherlands (another well represented group) and… Portugal. I’m a crew of one, yet proud.

People came here through different routes. There are “veterans” who are here for a third time, with one of them half way through her 2-year project at UPAVIM. She teaches the 6th grade at UPAVIM’s school and transpires commitment to educating the kids. There is a young couple (still on their teens!) who’s staying only for a couple of months. There are people who came here after travelling in Central America for a while; others who intend to do so after leaving UPAVIM, like me.

You’ve Es., truly committed to her idea of getting kids out of gangs through break-dance. You’ve Ma., who’s doing here more of the social work she used to do with kids in Holland. You also have Mi., another social worker from the US who teaches yoga once in a while, during some of the breaks from our activities.

Different stories, all of them curious in one way or the other.

The group is apparently shy on camera, judging upon this video. El., caught on camera against her will, is working with the women in the arts & crafts production. She’s ever so kind to help me practice my French. Unfortunately, there is no hope for it.

A bientôt, g.

Which Gustavo?

It’s not the first time I stand up in the house when I hear someone calling my name. They’re not calling for me, but Conchita’s second son. He’s 13 and the fact we share the name helped establishing a good relationship since the beginning.

What he likes the most doing is swimming. He studies at UPAVIM and the school gives his class access to a swimming pool in the city centre, something like 30 or 45 minutes away. He has proudly shown me his medals. It’s definitely what makes his heart beat.

If only more swimming pools and medals could be given to kids around here. You wouldn’t see half the problems that affect this community. This community, and so many others in Guatemala City. And in Central America. And in…

I’ve been spending some of my time seating at UPAVIM’s roof looking at the quasi-slums around us, and thinking of what in the world has to be done to change this reality.

I’ve no idea. Do you?

Boa noite

Maria is 15 years old. She’s one of Conchita’s six daughters and sons – if I haven’t miscounted! And, to add clarity to this text, Conchita is the mother of the family I’m staying with, after two short “adaptation” days when I slept at UPAVIM.

When I arrived to this family’s house this last Tuesday Maria was celebrating her birthday. So, I was welcomed to the place with a party, a birthday cake, music, the all family and some friends too. It couldn’t be better, right?

I started teaching Maria some Portuguese today. She’s studying tourism in school, so she’s really keen to add other languages to her native Spanish. Since she’s also only starting to learn English, our hour today was spent working on pronunciation in both languages, which I guess is not the most orthodox – or effective – way of doing it. But she insisted on the Portuguese…

The enthusiasm rose during dinner – around 6.30pm – when the family was laughing while trying to read my “Quando for grande quero ser engenheiro” t-shirt. I think they now understand what I mean when I say that Portuguese is really close to Spanish, despite the strange noises that come out of my mouth.

The t-shirt actually says a lot to Orlando, Conchita’s oldest son. He’s 19 and has started studying construction engineering. This is a large and humble family, cared by a hard-working woman who always has a smile in her face. She’s one of the success stories of UPAVIM, as she has been around since the beginning (something like 20 years ago) and has put to the best use some of the resources that the cooperative makes available to the mothers who work hard: a position as kindergarten teacher, and ways of supporting her children’s education.

One reference more: Jeffrey. He’s 3 years old and Conchita’s first and only (so far, should I say? :-)) grand son. He has been amazed at my hairy arms and legs since day one. He passes his hands and head through them while carrying a fascinated look in his face, and then starts laughing like crazy. The family members who are around follow suit. I had this before while travelling in South East Asia, so I guess I just need to start getting used to it…

He’s really sweet. He loves drawing, so I have not many blank pages left in my notebook… I leave here a picture of one of his drawings – my favourite. It’s an elephant. :-)

Back to Maria. I taught her today the first basic conversational phrases in Portuguese, so I said goodbye to her and the family in Portuguese too: “Boa noite”. I’ll follow up on that tomorrow.

Miss Simpatía

Juan, Luis Alberto, Gabriel, Brian, Chibala – first grade. Ervin, Mirna, Teresa, Darlin, Esterlin – third grade. Hugo, Augusto, David, Linda, Ingrid, Lenti – sixth grade.

(Sorry if I’ve misspelled some of your names!)

I’m working at Reforzamiento, an all-day workshop that welcomes children from the community. One class at a time, for us to teach and help the kids with the school work. And – man, so important! – to play.

Brian was my first hug. I spent more than 30 minutes trying to build a tall Lego tower with him. Proper engineer work: 4 pillars. I’ve studied some of that stuff after all… He seemed several times to be quite happy with where the construction was, but I guess he had no alternative but to keep adding pieces along with me. We run out of time before we could have the tower standing. I promised to continue the next day. He came back when he was about to leave the door and gave me a big hug – right at the height of my knees. I’ll remember that hug.

Esterlin is a rebel. It’s hard to have her engage in a task from beginning to end. She loves to mess around with the other kids, and looks at all school work with the arrogance of someone who knows that without much effort she can catch up with it all as soon as she wants to. She’s damn smart, and I can’t but smile at her bright eyes and enfant-terrible face.

I got today an unexpected request from Mirna. She had to prepare a long strip of paper for school and needed help. I resisted to express the “what the f*ck?” reaction that was going through my mind, and half-way the process I finally understood she needed it for an activity where someone in the class would be elected “miss simpatía”. I ended up really getting into it, and I think I’m even more proud than Mirna of the colourful stripe she took home.

Without me noticing it, by the end of the task Esterlin was by our side, and wanted a strip of herself too. I tried to sort something out in the short time we had left. I think she was happy: she left smiling. As rebel as the devil, she would win the title should I be the judge.

¿Y cuanto tiempo te quedas por aquí?

This is the question I’m asked over and over again – whenever I meet someone for the first time.

Being run and managed by women from La Esperanza, UPAVIM is naturally very well linked with the community, and the volunteers are respected and protected by them.

Everyone seems to be equally thankful and surprised to see us around. They welcome you warmly, as well your work and what they expect – no, I should say hope – you can make happen.

I don’t know yet the answer to the question being repeated at me so frequently. I want – and I will, I think – travel around Central (and South?) America, but at the same time I also want to leave here with the feeling I helped shape something meaningful. And that, of course, takes time.

Time. Something I do have now.

Time runs differently here. There is a meeting the next day to know what to do about the bakery – is it out of money and should we stop it, or buy materials for another day of production instead? – and I’m relentlessly going up and down the stairs to know the whereabouts of the missing invoices. People are concerned – because the matter is so important to everyone and the urgency of the decisions – but at the same time they know that life goes on, and only the ex(?)-consultant seems to find reasonable to get the numbers right before sun set. How unreasonable that aspiration was…

Time runs differently here. I’m getting used to it.

Bread with soya

I’ve been wondering around in the last few days, observing the people at UPAVIM and asking questions here and there to find a worthwhile project to dedicate my time to.

I guess the timing couldn’t be better for a mini financial turmoil at some of UPAVIM’s businesses: a bakery and a soya production shop, both run by the women in the community.

In addition to my time with the kids, I suddenly became the messiah who should help shed light on how to boost the bakery and get the soya production up and running, after it was shut down in December. I guess they noticed what I wrote down in the application about my business background …

The last two days have been strangely familiar. Being introduced as someone “who is here to help”, but having to position things nicely so that you don’t step on anyone’s toes, especially as an outsider. Finding out what the numbers are, running after missing information. Hearing from person A that only person B knows piece of information X, only to hear the reverse when you finally get to speak to person B. Listening to 101 different views on what the strategy should be. Observing a lot of misunderstandings. Identifying a subtle yet visible competition for the most powerful positions. Finding out about personality clashes. Trying to overcome mismanagement and lack of accountability.

Management consultancy in Guatemala City. So different, yet so much the same.

I had never thought about it…

Fuego

Fuego at sun set; it seems to be always covered in clouds at this hour

Fuego in the early morning, the best time to actually see it so far

Fuego is a (fortunately) inactive volcano – at least in recent times. Behind it is Antigua, the capital of Guatemala when the Spanish still ruled around here, and the country’s tourist centre – only 1h away from where I am.

There are two other volcanos close by. One is called Agua, and is still active. Interesting play of words with Fuego – shouldn't they be named the other way around then? The third is the most impressive one as you can often see smoke coming out of it. I’ll try to get a good picture of it without clouds (not easy task) at the same time that I try to memorise its bloody name…